Things that came up in Russia!

29-10-2017, 12:07
We do not mean that now all this is not in other countries ... we were just the first. Although only we really have some things;)
It’s not easy to love motherland, not everyone can express these feelings, but there are a number of things for which one can and should be proud of his country.
You also need to understand that multimillion-dollar humanity is deprived of the concept of elementary and ordinary, which is inherent only in Russia.
Pioneer ball

This simplified version of volleyball for sickly little bodies appeared in the 30s. Let the data type of Soviet children's sports developed mainly only the grasping function of the body, but it was amazingly democratic. Literally everyone could play pioneer ball: boys, girls, fat, dystrophics, mentally retarded and bespectacled. There were no stars in the pioneer ball, because it was impossible to play well in it (it was possible to play very badly, but this is a different story). Until now, Russian children in Turkish and Spanish hotels have been amazed by the staff playing their mysterious game.
Trust turnstiles

This is where they are buried, the roots of national psychology. Worldwide, turnstiles in the subway and train stations are initially closed, and only when they slip into the proper slot of the ticket or coin do they disperse in different directions. If the road is closed - stop, open - go. And only our turnstiles work on the principle of predatory plants. They lurk in the darkness of the iron boxes, giving you the illusion of complete freedom and security. But at any attempt of illegal penetration of their jaws they close on the body of the violator - in the area of ​​the most vulnerable places. Yes, we do not like simple, open paths. We do not trust them since childhood.
Boiled condensed milk

Caramelized concentrated milk lives in foreign supermarkets - in the departments of all sorts of ingredients for confectionery. But the taste, appearance and smell are not at all what our own condensed milk, which you yourself cooked in a saucepan for three hours, and then scrubbed from the walls and ceiling, after being slightly distracted by watching the final match of the European Cup.

“Footcloths were, are and will be! - the head of the rear of the Armed Forces, Army General Vladimir Isakov, said in an interview to the press.- Because synthetic foot is harmful, especially when you need to run 30 kilometers in kersey boots. Instead of synthetic thick socks, every soldier needs to be sewed by measure, or they will be skinned and their legs will fill up with bloody corns. I tried the Russian army socks, tried, not live in the Stone Age. So, the experiments ended in fiasco. These are all kinds of American marines, who strive to move around by helicopters and jeeps, they can afford to indulge in their toes. ” This is the opinion of the army leadership. But already one of us can bring one useful skill from the army. Girls, for example, the ability to instantly make their own socks out of two handkerchiefs makes an indelible impression.
Sitting on the track

Our ancient national superstition says that if all members of a noisy family sit down and shut up a minute before leaving, the trip will be successful. If only because it is at this sacred moment that they can mysteriously realize that the passports are left on the sofa, the tickets are in the bathroom, and on the child, instead of mittens, they wear skates.
Knocking on a tree

As you know, around every person is full of eared evil spirits who are engaged in destroying all dreams.As soon as they hear that someone wants to buy a horse there is more profitable to buy a daughter or marry successfully, they immediately rush from all clutches to pick up the price, to spoil the girl, just to spoil it. Therefore, in all countries, reasonable people, foolishly expressing some of their desire out loud, immediately knocked on the tree: the tree of devils scares, this is what the druids understood. But now this useful skill other nations have undermined. And we will knock and knock!
Banya broom

More like a tool of torture than pleasure, this bundle of branches with dried leaves is a much more original symbol of our country than the French ballet, Chinese kokoshnik or, for example, caviar, which all Iranian and Canadian exports. Baths have many nations. Only we have a broom.
Birch juice

It seems like there are many birch trees where they grow, but for some reason no one else thought about how tasty and healthy birch sap is. Maybe it’s all a matter of some gene, which only allows us to feel the subtle taste of sweetish plywood, which is so beautiful in childhood?
And a birch sap is absolutely necessary for an adult when a foreigner comes to visit him.Then you can buy a can of this juice and make the guest taste our national drink in a proper way, with quiet pleasure watching the expression on his face at that moment.

Let the kekera, the progenitor of kvass, come up with in Mesopotamia - today neither in Egypt, nor in Iran can you find kvass in the afternoon with fire, as in any other country in the world. Only here. And those villains who in recent years have got into the habit of selling carbonated drinks "on the basis of kvass", you just need to drown in basins with their products.

The washing machine, which weighs 300 grams, practically does not burst electricity and does not flood its neighbors from below, was born in Tomsk, in the scientific-production association Reton. You just put it in a bowl of water and dirty laundry, add laundry detergent, and rest — I don't want to. While you are doing your own business, Retona is doing its own thing: it diligently processes clothes with ultrasonic waves, creates microbubbles that separate dirt from the fibers of the fabric. Then you will only need to rinse the laundry, manually fade or remove the most stubborn stains with bleach and thoroughly squeeze the wash.Millions of people have already bought this ingenious invention. By the way, “Porridge from the Ax” is also a Russian fairy tale.
Sunflower seeds

How we managed to introduce the rank of an ancient national tradition of eating sunflower seeds, which were brought to us two hundred years ago, is a mystery. Nevertheless, the plant is so absorbed in our culture that even well-trained historians will no-no and they will be mistaken. For example, in the book of the remarkable writer and the story of Boris Akunin “Altyn-Tolobas” we can find a beggar girl who is husking sunflower seeds, not embarrassed by the fact that in the described 1682 this advanced flower was just started to be bred by advanced gardeners of Holland and France.
Vocative case

Once he was among many Latin peoples, but then completely degenerated. And we carefully preserved it. True, slightly modified. If earlier when addressing a person, we expanded the word additional “e” at the end (“prince”, “human”), then in modern Russian the vocative form is, on the contrary, an abbreviation in the last vowel: “Zin, and Zin”, “ Listen, Pashk "," Lech, and, Lech! ".
Old New Year

Europe moved from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar at the end of the XVI century, and Russia - only at the beginning of the twentieth.However, the Orthodox Church categorically refused to participate in this outrage. There was nothing special here (in the end, all the branches of Orthodoxy celebrate Christmas on January 7), but we also had an atheistic revolution that threw Christmas into the dustbin of history and the most important holiday of the year was made not by it, but by dangling in the neighborhood year, trailing to it all the former Christmas attributes such as Christmas trees, burning stars and gifts of the Magi. As a result, a hodgepodge like Olivier lettuce turned out in people's memory and we became owners of unprecedented wealth - as many as three holiday weeks, starting with Catholic Christmas and ending with a slightly sad holiday Old New Year, the name of which is from the category of things impossible, but existing.
String bag

It is not known when the primitive man first guessed to connect the tendons of animals so that they formed a mesh capacity that you can put in your pocket in case you suddenly track down a queue for deficient sausage on the way from work. But it is known how the name of the bag beloved by Soviet citizens appeared.For the first time it sounded in a monologue of Raikin in 1935. “And this is a string bag,” said his character, waving the above-mentioned subject in front of the viewer. “Maybe I'll bring something in it today.”
Address is the opposite

What is more important - the person or the state? Individuality or society? Unit or system? While philosophers are struggling with the solution of these global issues, they have long been decided by the Russian Post. Only we have the address starts from the country, then go the city, street, house and, finally, the combination of letters that you used to consider your personal call signs. From the general, so to speak, to the particular. In all other countries, you first notify postal services that you need John Smith, and only then indicate the coordinates of the place where John Smith is usually found. But then our postman is easier to work with!
Activated carbon

Coal has an absorbing property and at the same time lowers the acidity of the environment - what the doctor ordered. So they are treated "for the stomach" everywhere. But hanguine-minded doctors and pharmacists abroad in every way mask the original component, shoving all sorts of additives into coal and exposing it to various metamorphoses (in life you can not guess what this white pill or pink capsule is made of).And only in Russia, honest sellers pack blackened, the most intimidating type of pills that stain the mouth and fingers into pharmaceutical packaging. But it helps!
"What? Where? When? ”And KVN

Quiz shows and competitions on television more than you can eat. But only two games are ours, original projects, the scenarios of all other TV reporters were bought from foreign companies. Just two. But the best and most loved ones.
Dyeing Easter eggs with a bow

Of course, this is all from poverty. The Russian peasant usually did not have sufficient funds for gold foil and honey colors, so that the poor painted eggs with what was on hand — onion shelupashki. Sometimes even the eggs were wrapped with thread to make a cheerful pattern. But then the egg boiled onion solution should turn out to be much tastier than usual, especially if the shell cracked a little.

At a time when the glass was costly to disgrace expensive, coasters were spread everywhere - as armor and support for an unstable expensive glass. When the glass began to cost a ridiculous amount of pence and pfenning, the glass holders said goodbye to humanity, boarded the ship and sailed with beautiful songs to a fabulous country.It happened everywhere except in one big, very big country. People had to travel there for a very long time. And on the road, as you know, I really want tea, especially since in the country we are talking about, tea drinking has become a national tradition. And here it turned out that you can not do without a cup holder in a shaking train: it is unpleasant when you are scalded with boiling water. Everyone is so accustomed to drinking tea from glasses with cup holders, as in the houses they began to serve this drink in the same way.

Although the root "Greek" makes the Greek spy suspect in this mess, it is our very own. Ancient evidence of human consumption of buckwheat by man was found only in one place, in Altai. There are fossilized buckwheat grains in burials and sites full of. Apparently, it was from Altai that buckwheat spread throughout Asia - but without much success. Only the Japanese and the Chinese partially preserved it in the diet, adding pounded buckwheat to the flour, and most of the nations never really ate it. Nutritionists believe: the whole thing is that you need to get used to buckwheat from early childhood, otherwise an adult person, for the first time trying buckwheat porridge, will feel bitterness and chemical aftertaste. So, besides us, nobody really eats it and is not able to eat.Although buckwheat is sold in Europe and the United States in all shops of "biological" food, but you cannot watch these bags without tears. Buckwheat in them is non-fried: green, crushed and good for nothing.
Inward-opening doors

The legend that in the USSR the doors of apartments open inward, so that it would be more convenient for the KGB to knock them out during arrest - only a legend. The doors were opened to the KGB men themselves - quietly and doomfully. And their location is a common thing for the northern regions. Where there is a couple of meters of snow on the porch during the night, you very quickly understand how to hang the doors if you intend to get out of the house before the onset of winter.

Marinade - at least fill up. You will not find a simple cucumber pickle anywhere and never. Only here. It is not clear why export has not yet been established, tanks are not rushing, and the brine pipelines are not laid. You might think we are the only drinkers. Or was there no one yet willing to risk the liver of Prometheus, who would steal this mystery from us and give humanity suffering from a hangover?
March 8 and February 23

There are no paired holidays anywhere. Is it only in Japan that our holiday of boys and the holiday of girls correspond a little to our main sexual holidays. But there it is only for children, and for us - for everyone. No one has been looking at the original meaning of these dates for a long time.On the day of working women, even ladies who have not worked for five minutes in their life receive gifts, and on the day of the Russian army the most heroic draft dodgers will not save anything from new patterns of socks, ties and razors in their private collection.

Perhaps, in our country there is not a single house where there would not be even a single bubble of green. Magic remedy for everything: anoint - and everything will pass. From the “homemade” and “Sheremetyevy” hundreds of miraculous bubbles fly away every day. They fly to distant lands, to wild people who do not know what Zelenka is. Western doctors have already learned during examinations to distinguish Russian children on the mysterious green spots on the body. And as soon as they learned, they shouted, because the children were smeared with such a mixture that it was not safe to watch, not only to pour it on myself. Solid teratogens with carcinogens. Since then, all sorts of malicious Western commissions now and then demand the production of green stuff in Russia to be banned. But in a country where it is still recommended in the textbooks on obstetrics to lubricate nipples with brilliant green to nursing mothers (against cracks), such proposals can be regarded as extreme blasphemy, and in some ways even disgusting. Because this is an attempt on the foundations.
Pine nuts

The most useful nuts are eaten only in Russia, which is not surprising. In order for them to get on the table of any citizen of the country, this country needs to have many thousands of square kilometers of taiga. And you cannot grow pine nuts industrially. Either they will have to be sold at the price of completely obscene: too much space is required for cedar to sell out fifty years later, the first ten modest cones. True, now we are exporting pine nuts, but they are not in a hurry to buy them in large quantities abroad: this exotic fruit is not used by local buyers.

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