How to translate free relationships into normal without obtrusiveness7 794
The modern world is full of not only the diverse achievements of civilization in the form of fashionable gadgets, devices, technologies, but also intangible proposals. This applies to relationships between people. One of these know-how today is the free relationship between a man and a woman.
Twenty years ago, no one had any idea what it was and what it was eaten with. It was all clear - either there is a relationship or not. Relations between the sexes were automatically considered serious if there was sympathy between people, mutual attraction, sex. After the recognition of "I like you," the contact immediately moved to a new level and to the rank of a serious relationship.
Now everything is different. Easy flirting, fleeting sympathy, passionate sex and even living together under one roof are no longer evidence of the depth of human relationships.Today you can meet in a noisy company, have a nice evening, meet half a year, but at the same time do not enter into a serious relationship.
The picture may indicate the existence of relations, but in fact there are no relations in the classical sense of the word. It is paradoxical, but such free relations today are rather a conscious choice, rather than a minor misunderstanding.
And this has a number of reasons:
- Free relations imply Freedom from increased obligations, expectations and demands;
- Free relationships are not burdensome for both partners, when no one claims and reproaches;
- In a free relationship, they simply look and react to the presence of other partners;
- You can end this relationship at any time without long explanations and scandals;
- Being in a free relationship, people do not seek to analyze their relationship, their expediency and options for a possible future together, but rather enjoy the current moment.
Such relationships suggest that each partner lives its own life and interests, and periodically enjoys a good time with a partner. In such a relationship there are no questions and complaints:
- When will you be home?
- Where did you go?
- Why so late?
- Who is calling you so late?
Despite the apparent lack of feelings, emotional intimacy, respect and romance, open relationships are strong and stable. This is the paradox of free relationships!
People enter and maintain such a format of relations in order to avoid obligations and encroachments on their own freedom. At the same time, they feel so comfortable and easy that it is difficult to refuse them.
The fact is that most people are skeptical about free relationships and take them for an immoral form of behavior. But it is not.
Free relations are based on respect for the partner, on mutual sympathy and affection, on common interests and positions, on comfortable and satisfying sex, on the desire to make a good and pleasant partner, to take care of him.
This is not sex for one night with a question in the morning: “What is your name?”.Just free relations are alien to the position of power and control over another person, the desire to suppress and dominate his life, the egoistic position "you are now my husband and my forever, therefore you must 1., 2., 3 ...."
In fact, from this point of view, one can see the shortcomings of the “serious relationship” that we are used to, the classic ones, which we talked about above. Entering into a serious relationship, people begin to demonstrate their power over others, demand something from him, try to bind him to themselves, restrict something, show jealousy, etc. These actions and manipulations are based on the internal psychological conflicts of each partner and entering into a serious relationship, these contradictions and internal defects are only activated.
For example, a woman is in a serious relationship. Her man is late for dinner by 3 hours. Her reaction? “Where was you wearing ?! I'm all worn out! Why did not you call? Where have you been? ” At the same time, a man could get into a terrible traffic jam, lose a mobile phone, sit at a prolonged meeting, drink beer with friends at a local bar. In general, anything could happen. In this case, the woman behaves typically for a serious relationship - she makes a complaint. Perhaps, then he will figure out what's what, but the claim is sacred.A woman in a free relationship will react differently to this behavior of her partner. No complaints. The main thing that came alive and healthy. If he wants - he explains, does not want - it means he does not need to. Such a woman will wait for a man to wait for herself - read, relax, learn, rest, gossip on the phone with the same. Question: in what relations will a woman and a man be more comfortable? Obviously, in the second.
Despite the obvious advantages of a free relationship, there are also disadvantages:
- Society for the most part condemns representatives of free relations;
- Partners should clearly understand the boundaries: what they can claim and what they can not;
- Sometimes people enter into an open relationship to avoid responsibility. Therefore, the true motivation of partners needs to be learned at the beginning;
- Free relationships are a risk and emotional stress, as partners balance between their freedom and love for another, and this is quite difficult to do.
Despite the shortcomings of a free relationship, many choose exactly this format.Sometimes it ends with a goodbye, parting, and sometimes love for life and a strong family.
Therefore, if you are in a free relationship with your partner, want to understand the prospects or go to another level (serious relationship, for example), the following steps will certainly help you.