Child - nanny: why not allow this

Child - nanny: why not allow this

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According to statistics, 80% of people dream of creating a large family. The picture is beautiful: children's laughter, the first steps, smeared porridge on the table. The joy of living surrounded by children is enormous, and many strive for it.

But it happens that the family is filled with children, and happiness looks a little different than expected. This is not about domestic inconvenience in the form of disorder in the house and the inability of adults to retire. There are problems in the relationship between children. More and more often, children quarrel among themselves, they are not happy about the prospect of a brother or sister appearing in their lives, they are offended and cry. Children's moods are a normal course of psychological and physiological maturation. But most often, in large families, conflicts between children arise for the reasons:

  1. Incorrect distribution of roles.
  2. The views of parents on the difficulties.

Family is a system of relationships in which the roles of the senior and junior are functionally distributed.In addition, each family member performs its function depending on the purpose:

  • The task of parents is to teach the younger ones and pass on their experience, take care of the children until they can do it themselves.
  • The task of children is to adopt the skills and knowledge from the older generation, to develop according to nature.

Such a demarcation is implied, but difficult to do in real life. Illustrative are examples of relationships in villages where a family has 4 children and everyone behaves like adults: they work, they serve themselves, they take care of young children, regardless of age or strength. Such a position is perceived as the norm and the obligatory condition of “harmonious” coexistence. Only in reality it is not.

It is large families that are sinned by the presence of envy, resentment, and hidden hatred between children. Such feelings are projected on parents who are perplexed about “what’s wrong”.

Not so - this is when children do the work of adults. Both internal immaturity and unpreparedness to play an unnatural role harms the psychological and physical health of the child:

“Son, I'm at work, and you feed your sister and put her to bed,” the mother of a 6-year-old son instructs.
- Good. And drive the ball?
- What ball? You have a lot to do. From home - not a foot.

And our little hero stays with his younger sister, who needs to be looked after instead of playing in the yard. Of course, the child is hurt, he feels injustice because of this attitude. And, most likely, in the future, his sister will not love him, because "she gets the best».

Parents should remember: children are not adults, they cannot raise brothers / sisters.
In the article we will explain in detail why the eldest child is not a nanny. We will also provide tips that will help educate children in harmony and love.

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