2. Adult peddler

Shekhovtsov Vasily Semenovich

A person is inclined to adapt to his level of anxiety and stop noticing it. People are often afraid of bosses, critics; new situations; be rejected; be in the spotlight; seem inferior; make a complaint; fail to deny the request; say no; people are afraid of open and closed spaces, darkness, height, mice, rats, spiders, blood, deep water, footsteps behind, loud screaming, condemnation of one's actions, decision-making situations, people are afraid of poses and touches, people are afraid to have children and disobey parents, people are afraid of poverty and are afraid of money, people are afraid of noisy companies and loneliness, success and failure, glory and oblivion. And when they have nightmares, they refer to magnetic storms with a view of connoisseurs. Adapting to the constantly present stressful factor, people build their professional choice, personal life and life strategy in such a way as to avoid the recurrence of those situations where they have once and for all been defeated.By limiting their living space, they, naturally, will do everything to likewise limit the living space of their children .. Therefore, it often happens that the parent requests to correct the child’s behavior, and in fact he himself is the root cause of this behavior and the accompanying experiences.

The mother of a seven-year-old girl turned to us with a complaint that her daughter was afraid to be left alone, often crying, she could not be in the dark.
After a preliminary conversation, it turned out that the girl’s grandmother had told her a terrible tale for the night, in which the terrible Barmalei liked to carry little girls into the forest. Mom confirmed that in the grandmother's performance, Barmalei seemed very realistic, and that she herself does not like to remember him.
It took three hours of work in order to turn the evil hero into the child’s imagination into a soft teddy bear who will now live in the forest and come to play with the girl when she is left alone.
However, in a real family, mother remained to live with the same reactions to darkness, loneliness, and a number of other "dangers."Therefore, mother was also offered the opportunity to undergo a course of psychological therapy.

It is very unpleasant to be worried about what is long gone. A person cannot “turn off” his own instinct of self-preservation. And at this time everything that was associated with the last danger reminds of this danger, and subjectively it acts as a danger. The unconscious threat emanating from an event hidden in the memory constantly mobilizes a person to respond. As a result of this, inadequate behavioral stereotypes are formed.
If in the biography there were several similar traumatic events, their negative impact is summed up. Then we deal with the repressed emotions of such a force, which leads to the formation of neurotic behavior in all its extensive symptomatology. And since the reality is very diverse, the classifications of neuroses and the classification of phobias are correspondingly extensive.

ADVICE TO PARENTS:As an indicator of the presence of unconscious fears can be the level of anxiety. For the diagnosis of adults, you can use the questionnaire to measure the level of anxiety (Blazer V.M.Krug I.V. Pathopsychological diagnosis. Kiev, 1986). The total score: 40-50 points is considered as an indicator of a very high level of anxiety; 25-40 points indicates a high level of anxiety; 15-25 points mean an average (with a tendency to high) level; 5-15 points - about the average (with a tendency to a low) level and 0-5 points - about a low level of anxiety.

ADVICE TO PARENTS:Children's fears are often recognized by family friends, and not by the parents themselves. Therefore, look carefully at children in the families of your loved ones and, if you see familiar symptoms, feel free to give good advice to see a specialist.

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